Reasons Why Men Should Never Wear Skinny Jeans

Despite valiant efforts by kind citizens to put an end to skinny jeans for men, the trend continues to grow.

#1 There’s A Crime Happening

Despite efforts to put an end to this hideous fashion crime, the trends is continuing to spread. If you, dear male reader, remains uncertain about this strange phenomenon (and perhaps thinking of jumping the bandwagon) take a look at the following pictures and see the atrocity that continues to be perpetrated. Conan here does a good job of showing off just how stupid guys look in skinny jeans. Do you want to look like this? We didn’t think so.


#2 These May Be Women’s Jeans

You know who skinny jeans worked for? Robert Plant. Dude used to shamelessly dress up as a woman, circa 1970 no less. You know why? Cause he was packing a goddamn baby’s arm in his Fruit o’ the Looms. You probably aren’t, so let our imagination work in your favor.


#3 Skinny Jeans In Different Colors: Double Whammy

Come on, guys. It’s important to express yourself, but if this is how you choose to dress maybe it’s better to act like someone else.