Reasons Why Men Should Never Wear Skinny Jeans

#4 250 Pounds Of Macho In A 10 Pound Sack

If you’re a bigger guy, they just look absurd. You’re going to look like you had the pants on as a child and grew up inside of them. That’s gotta hurt. Your favorite new saying is “Ouch, I just sat on my nutsack.”



#5 That’s A Recipe For A Wrecking Ball

You know you’re not a fat kid. But your skinny jeans don’t, and they won’t hesitate to treat you like one. When the only meat on your bones is bulging out in front of you, it’s probably time to change your clothing choices. Unless that’s the look you were going for, then, Bravo!


#6 Pseudo-Transparency

Narrow-legged pants will broadcast the entire contents of your pockets to the rest of the world. In addition to condoms, this information should prove valuable to petty thieves, lunchroom bullies, and the TSA.